


Blue Eyes

by Casangelofthefreakinglordnovak



Series: Cockles [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Bleed, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casangelofthefreakinglordnovak/pseuds/Casangelofthefreakinglordnovak
Summary: It's all Deans fault. Until it's Jensen's





	

Jensen doesn't normally do this. When he steps off set, everything gets left behind. All of Dean Winchesters problems end on that line and then it's all Jensen. Except today. Today's one of the rare few days where Dean follows Jensen, stays in his mind even though the mans not working anymore. The industry called it a character bleed, Jensen didn't have a name for it and whenever it happens he's too preoccupied to think of one. 

So he trudges off set still in costume, gives a half hearted wave to Jared who already knows that Jensen's going to need a little help tonight, and makes his way slowly to his trailer. Although that doesn't seem to help, when he sits down on the couch in the trailer and looks around the empty space listening to the deadly silence. Being alone won't help but what was he to do? Jared had a family gathering to attend and Misha was off today so Jensen was alone. Which doesn't help when Dean was alone as well, feeling as though everything that had happened over the past ten seasons was his fault. And that's a heavy burden for a man to bare. 

Shucking off the canvas jacket Jensen grabs the whisky from the side, deciding a glass or two, or ten, would help. 

When he's drunk, a familiar calming buzz running through his veins, Jensen hardly notices the man that enters his trailer, doesn't pay attention to him when he crouches down in front of him. The worlds blocked out now, and that makes life easier on both Jensen and Dean. They were far too alike. However that goes crashing when Jensen's eyes flicker and see blue. The blue that he's obsessed over for six seasons ever since the man arrived with his unusual name and amazing personality. Jensen had fallen head over heels instantly. 

When a hands placed gently on his thigh, Jensen jolts in surprise at the touch and suddenly that buzz is gone and all that's left is Dean and Misha's soft touch. "Hey Jen," His voice was soft and quiet as though Jensen was some petrified animal, which he supposes he is at the moment. "How you doing baby?" The hand moves slowly, circles rubbed into jean clad thighs as Misha smiles softly. "Mish," Its kind of slurred, and Jensen can't deny that he's annoyed he's no longer drunk because that helped and now he has Dean swarming about again. 

"I can't do it." "Can't do what Jen?" "It's too much. It's my fault." There's arms encircling him and suddenly Jensen's on Misha's lap on the too small bed that can hardly hold even Jensen's size let alone himself and Misha but Misha's determined. "What's your fault hmm? Talk to me Jen." "I killed her Mish. I killed Charlie. It's my fault she's dead. If I'd just been there-" "Jen. Baby look at me," The blues there again and Jensen manages to take a shuddery breath and relax into his boyfriends arms for a few minutes. "That's it. Now listen Jen, you didn't kill Charlie. You didn't kill Felicia. Felicia's perfectly safe and breathing and wanting to meet up actually. But Charlie, Charlie wasn't your fault Jen, or Deans. He had places to be and wasn't to know Jen. The only person who's to blame for her death is Styne." 

Jensen feels himself shaking at that, body trembling in Misha's arms before he's bursting, a quiet sob that soon escalates until Misha is rocking them slowly, and Jensen sobs loud and hard into the mans tshirt. For a few minutes, Misha soothes him best he can until Jensen recedes, until he's sniffling and wiping away tears. "S-Sorry Misha" "no babe it's good you got it out. You okay? He still there?" There's a pause as Misha soothes a hand through Jensen's hair, moving it out of Dean's usual flick into Jensen's and that seems to do the trick, when Jensen shakes his head and looks up. 

"No. It's just me" "well hi babe." "Hi. I'm sorry." "It's alright Jen, it happens to us all. We can't help it and you've been playing this man for ten years Jen, you have to expect that every once in a while." Jensen just nods and plays with Misha shirt. "Why are you here?" "Jared phoned. And I was on my way to pick you up anyway, thought we'd go for dinner." "No. I don't want to go out." "Okay. Let's go home then." Jensen grabs his shirt and shakes his head, blinking back tears again. "Can we rest? For half an hour? Please." "Yeah, 'course baby. Let's get you out these clothes first though."

When Jensen's cleaned up, curled beside Misha in the bed in his boxers, pressed against Misha's warm chest he feels more himself. More relaxed and less Dean. That guilt, that pain that Dean carries with him was gone for now and Jensen was grateful to the man beside him. He always knew how to centre him, and as long as Misha was by his side he would be okay.  
So curling closer Jensen presses a soft kiss to the mans clavicle and closes his eyes. "Mish?" "Yeah Jen?" "Thank you. I love you." "I love you too baby."


End file.
